What It Means to Live with a Parent Who Has Alzheimer’s and What Caregiving Is Like

By Nancy Duarte – Life Coach

When you hear the word “Alzheimer’s,” what images come to mind? A forgetful old man, a senile old woman? Rightly or wrongly, we tend to associate Alzheimer’s with older people. That’s why it might surprise you to learn that an estimated 200,000 people under the age of 65 live with Alzheimer’s in the United States alone.

My mother’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis rocked my world. As a family therapist for over 23 years, I thought I had all the answers. In fact, four years ago I became my mother’s caregiver after my father’s death. My reaction was, ‘What now?’

What does this mean for those who must care for a parent who has Alzheimer’s? Here are some tips on how to thrive in caregiving roles.

Living with a parent with Alzheimer’s means watching that parent gradually lose their ability to think, reason, remember, and communicate. It means helping your parents cope with changes in mood, behaviors, and physical abilities.

It means helping that parent manage their symptoms through medication and therapy. It means helping them navigate the healthcare system and deal with bureaucracy.

It means watching your parents decline and make decisions that your parents may not fully understand or agree with. It means helping your parents cope with depression and anxiety.

It means being your parent’s primary source of support as you watch your parents become increasingly dependent on you. It means dealing with guilt and uncertainty.

It also means making sure your parents enjoy the best quality of life possible for as long as possible.

The Basics of Caregiving
Caregiving is the act of providing assistance to someone who needs help with daily tasks and self-care. Caregivers are often family members or close friends who provide support to those affected by disease, injury, or disability. They may also be paid helpers who work in the healthcare field. Caregivers are both helpers and advocates for those who need assistance with daily tasks and self-care. Caregivers are also educators, teaching those in need about new medications or therapies. Caregivers may also help someone access resources or benefits they’re entitled to. The key to successful caregiving is to know what to expect, identify your own limits, and get support when you need it.

Take Care of Yourself
Caregiving is a high-stress, high-risk activity. It’s physically and mentally exhausting, and it puts your health at risk. If you’re a caregiver, you may already know that mindfulness and self-care are essential to your health and well-being.

Here are some tips to help you take care of yourself while you’re caring for someone else:
. Make time for yourself. Caregivers need downtime to recharge their batteries. Try to avoid feeling guilty about taking time for yourself; it’s critical for your health.
. Find support. Find friends who understand what you’re going through and can help you release some of the stress. Find support groups for people in your situation.

Sometimes it’s easier to talk to others who are going through the same thing. Get out of the house. This one’s also for when you need a break from caring for your loved one. Create a support network with other caregivers. Get help when you need it.

Things to Remember for Caregivers
. Take care of yourself. You can’t help anyone if you aren’t taking care of yourself!
. It’s not your fault. Remember that you didn’t cause your parent’s illness. You can’t control it, and you didn’t cause it.
. It’s okay to say no. You do not have to take on every caregiving task or responsibility.
. Set boundaries with family and friends. You are not obligated to help every family member with every task. And you are not obligated to listen to every single family member’s opinion about your parent’s illness.
. It’s okay to ask for help. You aren’t letting your parents down if you ask for help.
. You are not alone. There are support groups for caregivers, and there are people who understand what you’re going through.

Tips for Caregivers
. Develop a support network. Find other people who are currently in your situation and understand what you’re going through. You can also talk to people who are not in the same situation as you but who have been in similar situations in the past.
. Keep your parent’s life as normal as possible.
This is the best way to prevent your parents from becoming depressed or anxious.
 
Conclusion
If you are living with a parent who has Alzheimer’s, know that you are not alone and that you are not to blame! If your parent has Alzheimer’s, you’ll need to know what to expect and what to do to help your parent cope with the illness and thrive in the best quality of life possible for as long as possible.

If you are not living with a parent who has Alzheimer’s, you may be a caregiver for someone who has been diagnosed with the disease.

Remember that you can’t help anyone if you aren’t taking care of yourself! And don’t let the stigma associated with Alzheimer’s hold you back. You are not alone and you are not to blame.

NANCY DUARTE – LIFE COACH
239.285.8597
LifeCoachNancy.com