Southwest Florida's Health and Wellness Magazine Health and Wellness Articles
By Barbara Lasser, Manatee Technical College
So many times we associate what are supposed to be the happiest times of the year with some of the most stressful times. When I was growing up in a very, what one might call from the outward appearance, a normal happy family… never expected stress to come into our home. Why because our mom was a great one to hide the reality of a situation. Or that is what we thought, but was she really hiding it.
We never knew we were from a “dysfunctional” family, we never knew we were growing up with some the greatest “stressors” facing people. Why do you say we never knew, because mom chose not to let us get tied up in the negatives or family challenges? Our household was comprised of a mother that worked three careers to support my father, a young disable fireman that was given three months to live in 1968, my two sisters and myself. My mother was definitely a “glass half-full kinda gal”.
When we first moved to Florida we had lost everything due to my father’s illness, it was devastating to a man that was used to being a tremendous provider. In one night doing his job as a NYFD Rescue 3 firefighter, our lives would change. Dad gave a woman mouth to mouth resuscitation and she had a strep throat. A fireman who could press 400lbs went to not being able to turn a television dial. His heart was attacked by rheumatic fever and he was given a life sentence, (we were told he only had three months to live). Or was he? My mother chose not to let that be his sentence and she would fight with the greatest tools she had in her magic bag, love, compassion, and gratitude.
We up rooted our family and moved to Florida, so my mom would have family to support her in my father’s demise. Well love and nurturing won out dad lived 25 years longer than expected. But it was not always easy. Our family faced a lot of stress do to the health and financial situations but we learned to deal with them.
Our first Christmas we had no money and we were not able to move our things from New Jersey. So mom took eggs and hard cooked them we colored them with crayons and she hid them. We spread out our sleeping bags and after hunting for our eggs we had a picnic on Christmas Eve. We did not know we were “poor” because our life was full of happiness and love.
Sometimes I feel we forgot those simple times and we try to make the holidays about buying peoples love. We wind ourselves up in the commercial and one up man attitude that we lost focus of the simple meaningful times. I can remember a few toys I got when I was a kid but I will never forget the Christmas picnic. Mom took an amazingly challenging and stressful time and made it into a wonderful gift.
Holidays and post-holiday stresses.
What are the top ten stressors?
. Anxiety
. Tiredness
. Headaches
. Muscle pain and body aches
. Feeling that even the little things seem insurmountable.
. Sadness
. Melancholy
. Anger
. Constant feelings of failure in meeting pending
obligations
In researching, stress effects not only the body and brain, it is proven that negative emotions and thoughts can spread to all those around. But positive thoughts will also spread. My mother would wake up singing every morning. She showed an amazing positive attitude even in the face of tremendous challenges. She faced them as challenges not problems. Nothing was insurmountable because she faced it one challenge at a time.
During the holidays, it is easier to be affected by the negative stressors such as, over spending, over doing, and unrealistic expectations. According to Mayo clinic, negative situations and thoughts can cause more than just stress and depression which can ruin your holidays and damage your health.
Being realistic, planning ahead and seeking support can help ward off stress and depression.
How can we ward off stress during and after the holidays?
The holidays bring with it stressors and depression. Why is that because we are being pulled by so many demanding events…parties, shopping, company, entertaining, cooking, budgeting, and these are just a few stressors.
So how do we prevent stress to be the focal point of the holidays and the post holidays? Stress can take control of you at the holidays and once it is at its peak, it is much hard to regain control. So what do we do plan and manage stress. Here are some practical tips you can utilize to minimize the stress that accompanies the holidays. You may even end up enjoying the holidays more than you thought you would.
What can you do?
1. Acknowledge your feelings…my husband passed and it is difficult thinking about him but I also give myself permission to experience that grief without making it my focal point.
2. Be realistic. Holidays, vacations, parties are not going to be perfect focus on the successful elements not the negative.
3. Set aside differences. The common joke is “it’s not a good holiday without a good fight”…remember that is not a necessity, do not let situations and people spoil your holiday spirit. Let go of the past feelings.
4. Healthy Habits. At the holidays when we are tempted to over indulge and under exercise proper healthy habits. Keep your healthy habits in the fore front of your holidays. Exercise, a nice long walk with a friend, eating smaller quantities of what you love… remember the only two bites you really remember are the first and last.
5. Gratitude. Wake every morning being thankful for you day, I write 10 things every morning that I am grateful for in my life. Focusing on gratitude will give you a strong foundation for the start of each day
6. Planning. Planning and having a holiday game plan will help you stay in control of your holidays.
7. Pamper yourself, take time for you.
a. Take 15 minutes just for you
b. Take a walk
c. Get a massage
d. Buy yourself that bath salts and take a bath.
e. Have a cup of tea with a friend
8. Make a budget and stick to it. What do we really need? Are we giving gifts to buy someone’s affection? One Christmas we each donated to a favorite charity of the family member. That was so rewarding and we were all happy there were not returns or ugly sweaters.
9. Learn to just say no. Do not over plan or take on others task you can become resentful and overwhelmed. People who care will understand.
10. Seeking help if you need it. When you are finding yourself feeling extremes of anxiety, sadness, physical conditions, unable to sleep, unable to function in your routine
• After the holidays it is important to reconnect with friends and relatives.
• Before starting work, remember some beautiful moments you had during the holidays. Try to revive your memories.
• Start with an activity you would like to do for a long time but was continually delayed.
• Think about your next holidays! It will help you relax and feel better.
How to manage stress in the workplace after the holidays
• Try to return from vacation two days before the scheduled day to return to work.
• Those two days you have at your disposal, empty your luggage and put your suitcases in the loft, go to the supermarket and do some activities at home
• Try to gradually return to your work schedule and obligations. Start with the easiest tasks, from little things: read, for example, your email and arrange your office, etc.
• Put a commemorative photograph, in your office and, while looking at it, remember something beautiful.
• Prevent being overwhelmed by Managing your time and activities so that you do not feel that you are drowned.
• Relax! Often, stress and melancholy change the metabolic rate after your vacation.
• Get Moving! Exercise is perhaps the best way to combat stress.
• Ask the help of colleagues and friends.
• Do not schedule meetings for your first morning at work.
• Make every day something beautiful for yourself; do not wait for the next vacation!
So the bottom line dealing with stress is being proactive rather than reactive and surround your world with positives and gratitude.
Barbara S. Lasser, MBA
Manatee Technical College- Marketing, Management, and Entrepreneurial Principles Life Coach, SkillsUSA Advisor, Real Estate Broker, and Travel Consultant
I grew up in the most amazing world, New York/New Jersey for 8 months and East Tennessee for 4 months. Then moved to Florida.
I am a city girl, a farm girl, I have traveled every state in the USA, Caribbean, Canada, and Europe, and I am the most fortunate woman I know.
My mother. Peggy Lasser, was a tremendous mentor in living in gratitude, love, and God. My father, Edgar Lasser, was a NYFD Bronx Rescue 3 fireman, who lived with self-sacrifice and integrity.
The foundation I was given by these two people was why my life has been so incredibly blessed.
It’s not that “bad things” have not happened in abundances, but I was given the tools to turn them into challenges.
I believe it is not what happens to you that matters, it is how you deal with what happens.
I graduated from Manatee High School, Florida State University, and University of Phoenix, Tampa.
I have been Vice President of Sales and Training for a DuPont subsidiary, Real Estate Broker for many years, and own a travel consulting business.
A manager with Procter & Gamble, Frito-Lay, and Swift Adhesives.
Motto: live life to the fullest this is not a dress rehearsal.
Manatee Technical College
941.751.7900
MTC offers over 50 career certificate programs. For more information, go to www.ManateeTech.edu.
References:
1. Making the most of holiday season. American Psychological Association. http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/holiday-season.aspx. Accessed July 10, 2014.
2. Tips for parents on managing holiday stress. American Psychological Association. http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/parents-holiday.aspx. Accessed July 10, 2014.
3. Holiday stress? Try our top 5 tips for a heart-healthy holiday season. American Heart Association. http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/GettingHealthy/StressManagement/FightStressWithHealthyHabits/Holiday-Stress-Try-Our-Top-5-Tips-for-a-Heart-Healthy-Holiday-Season_UCM_433252_Article.jsp. Accessed July 11, 2014.
4. Manage stress. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. http://healthfinder.gov/HealthTopics/Category/health-conditions-and-diseases/heart-health/manage-stress. Accessed July 11, 2014.
5. Holiday blues that linger could be sign of depression. American Psychological Association. http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2009/12/holiday-blues.aspx. Accessed July 11, 2014.