By Rick Weber
The word “stress” has a negative connotation. But stress can be good—to a certain point.
Stress motivates us to take action and perform at an optimal level. As the Yerkes-Dodson law dictates, performance increases with physiological or mental arousal. Moderate stress is ideal for peak performance. If we don’t have enough stress present, we may be less likely to take action or be a little too comfortable. If we have too much stress present, we may be more likely to become overwhelmed and anxious—and our performance declines.
“Developing habits to manage stress takes time and experimentation to see what works best for you,” says Dr. Allison Jedinak, PsyD, Senior Director of the Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) unit in Florida Gulf Coast University’s Marieb College of Health and Human Services.
“You may also find you need different tools in different environments. When we approach change, we may become discouraged when we don’t see immediate results. Change is difficult! We tend to engage in familiar patterns as a comfort even if these patterns are dysfunctional or unhelpful. Progress will not likely be linear. Consider what you can do to become 1% better each day. (Check out Atomic Habits by James Clear for more on becoming 1% better every day!) Focus on tried-and-true strategies for general health and stress management, including proper sleep, nutrition and physical movement.”
April is Stress Awareness Month, and that is one of CAPS’ main jobs on campus for FGCU students. Incorporating techniques from person-centered, cognitive-behavioral and dialectical behavior therapies, Jedinak specializes in working with college students and has experience treating anxiety, depression and relational concerns.
But many of the practices being utilized with her students for their successful academic journeys could also be applied to everybody’s lives.
“An important first step in developing emotional and relational intelligence is awareness,” she says. “Can you name what you are feeling in the moment? What might this emotion signal to you? If you are feeling angry, reflect on what may be happening for you on a deeper level.
“For example, if someone cuts you off in traffic, you may feel angry and frustrated. This may connect to deeper values related to fairness, or past experiences of being ignored or dismissed. In relationships, consider what makes you engage versus retreat. What relationship conditions make you more likely to communicate openly and honestly? Thriving relationships tend to involve emotional safety, active listening and presence, ability to resolve conflict, reliability, empathy and validation.”
There are many approaches to therapy. One modality, used in college counseling centers, is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan. We can learn about ways to manage stress through:
• Mindfulness. “According to DBT, mindfulness is intentionally living in awareness of the present moment and not judging or rejecting the present moment. To increase your ability to be in the moment, consider grounding yourself using the five senses. What can you see, feel, hear, smell and taste?”
• Emotion regulation. “Emotion regulation is understanding, managing and reducing the intensity of overwhelming emotions to improve resilience. Be aware of emotion myths such as: emotions are bad/weak and should be avoided; there is a ‘right’ way to feel in a given situation; and being emotional means being out of control. To manage emotions, which can lead to increased stress, check the facts. Emotions are set off by our thoughts and interpretations of events instead of the events themselves.
How to check the facts:
1. What is the emotion I want to change?
2. What is the event prompting my emotion?
3. What are my interpretations, thoughts and assumptions about the event?
4. Am I assuming a threat?
5. What’s the catastrophe?
6. Does my emotion and/or its intensity fit the actual facts?
• Distress tolerance. “At times, we may need to rapidly shift our emotions from a heightened or crisis state to function in a present moment. TIPP skills from DBT may help: temperature change, intense exercise, paced breathing and progressive muscle relaxation. To engage in temperature change, use cold water or ice packs on your face/eyes for 20-30 seconds to trigger the dive reflex, which instantly lowers heart rate and brings calm. An example of intense exercise is to do jumping jacks to dissipate adrenaline and stress. Paced breathing activates our parasympathetic nervous system. Consider the 4-7-8 method or box breathing methods.
• 4-7-8: inhaling through the nose for four seconds, holding the breath for seven seconds and exhaling fully through the mouth for eight seconds, repeated four times to reduce stress, anxiety and aid sleep.
• Box breathing: inhaling, holding the breath, exhaling and holding again, typically for four seconds each, creating a 16-second cycle.
• Self-compassion. Self-compassion is the act of being kind to oneself. It is a muscle we must exercise. Self-talk tends to be critical and may connect to messages that were communicated about us or our performance from our parents, teachers, coaches, bosses, etc. Self-compassion involves three components, self-kindness, acknowledging common humanity and mindfulness. Put self-compassion into action by using kind and comforting words toward oneself when struggling, recognize that failure is a part of being human, balance perspective instead of over-identifying problems and proactively comfort and soothe yourself.” She recommends checking out more information about self-compassion, including resources for practice, on Dr. Kristin Neff’s website (self-compassion.org).
• Distress tolerance. “At times, we may need to rapidly shift our emotions from a heightened or crisis state to function in a present moment. TIPP skills from DBT may help: temperature change, intense exercise, paced breathing and progressive muscle relaxation. To engage in temperature change, use cold water or ice packs on your face/eyes for 20-30 seconds to trigger the dive reflex, which instantly lowers heart rate and brings calm. An example of intense exercise is to do jumping jacks to dissipate adrenaline and stress. Paced breathing activates our parasympathetic nervous system. Consider the 4-7-8 method or box breathing methods.
• 4-7-8: inhaling through the nose for four seconds, holding the breath for seven seconds and exhaling fully through the mouth for eight seconds, repeated four times to reduce stress, anxiety and aid sleep.
• Box breathing: inhaling, holding the breath, exhaling and holding again, typically for four seconds each, creating a 16-second cycle.
• Self-compassion. Self-compassion is the act of being kind to oneself. It is a muscle we must exercise. Self-talk tends to be critical and may connect to messages that were communicated about us or our performance from our parents, teachers, coaches, bosses, etc. Self-compassion involves three components, self-kindness, acknowledging common humanity and mindfulness. Put self-compassion into action by using kind and comforting words toward oneself when struggling, recognize that failure is a part of being human, balance perspective instead of over-identifying problems and proactively comfort and soothe yourself.” She recommends checking out more information about self-compassion, including resources for practice, on Dr. Kristin Neff’s website (self-compassion.org).
FGCU
Marieb College of Health & Human Service
10501 FGCU Boulevard South, Fort Myers, FL 33965
(239) 590-1000 | fgcu.edu