Starting Senior Living Conversations

By Greg Pascucci

For many families, talking with their parents or other loved ones about senior living and the need for extra help is a new experience. Often people confuse additional support or care with giving up their independence. But today’s senior living communities are far different than you might think, often offering so much more than just healthcare.

The experts at The Carlisle Naples, a resort-style senior living community, recommend starting an open discussion with the seniors in your life about their wellbeing, lifestyle preferences, changes in their social circle and future care needs.

Here are a few suggestions that may help start a meaningful conversation:

1. Begin Early
Perhaps the most important advice offered is to start the conversation early.

It is never too soon to talk about wishes, preferences, and desires when it comes to lifestyle preferences, personal care and support. Waiting until the need for help has become urgent can lead to hurried decisions and poor outcomes for everyone.

“I wanted to move to The Carlisle while I was still able to enjoy the wealth of programs and activities,” said Bernadette Paulo. “No two days are alike. I can be as busy or as relaxed as I choose.”

2. Choose a Comfortable Place and Time
Avoid having conversations in public places, like a doctor’s office waiting room or emergency room. Set a date, time and place for a conversation that is comfortable for everyone.

For example, if family is getting together for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, it’s an excellent opportunity to carve out some time to discuss future housing needs. Plus, if adult children visit a parent’s home, they can better observe how mom or dad manages daily tasks and activities.

3. Ask About Records and Documents
This can be an emotionally charged conversation, but it is essential to know some basic information about your loved ones’ personal affairs. Discuss wills, powers of attorney, advanced directives, and other information you will need should the health of your loved one begin to change.

4. Listen
Use good communication skills throughout the conversation. Ask open-ended questions that encourage your loved one to share how they are feeling, and what desires they may have. Reflect on all aspects of their lifestyle: Are they alone or feeling isolated? Is this impacting their appetite?

Show respect and approach the discussion as a partner, not as the person “in charge.”

5. Don’t Tell Them What to Do
No one has all the answers, but by working together you can develop solutions. Offer options and ask about a loved one’s preferences. There may be things that are non-negotiable to a prospective resident that an adult child may overlook. For example, does the community offer flexible dining options for a resident who may prefer a late start to their morning? Or, will dad be able to bring his beloved pet when he moves?

Keep in mind you are teammates, working together to find solutions that work for all parties.

“Moving to The Carlisle was a win-win for me as well as my family,” said Rose Saperstein. “I feel happy knowing extra care is available should it be needed, and my kids have peace of mind knowing there is an entire team dedicated to my safety and wellbeing.”

6. Ask for Help
You don’t have to do this all on your own. There are people who can help, such as family members, close friends, and senior living professionals. A quick search online can also provide checklists to help guide the process of selecting the right retirement community. And, because accreditation is important, look for a community that has earned accreditation by an outside third-party of trained professionals such as CARF International, (Commission on Accreditation of Rehabilitation Facilities) who verifies a senior community’s conformance to the highest standards of quality care and service.

There may need to be more than one conversation. Everyone will need time to process the information discussed and develop follow-up questions. Remember, the decision to move to a retirement community is a process, so take your time and maintain a positive, productive attitude.

Located at 6945 Carlisle Court in Naples, The Carlisle offers independent and assisted living lifestyles featuring spacious one-and two-bedroom residences, weekly housekeeping and flat linen services, basic cable TV, all utilities except telephone, and delicious dining with daily, chef-prepared specials. The community is accredited by the Commission on Accreditation of Rehabilitation Facilities (CARF), an important distinction that provides residents with the assurance that the highest standards of quality care, services and safeguards are maintained. For more information, please call 239-221-0017 or visit www.TheCarlisleNaples.com.

Luxury Rental Retirement Living
6945 Carlisle Court, Naples, FL 34109
239-221-0017 . www.TheCarlisleNaples.com