By Afton Patterson
It’s not unusual for seniors to struggle with their mental health during the holidays. There is so much pressure during the holiday season to create a picture-perfect holiday and to spend it with family. But for seniors, the holidays can be very lonely. Seniors who have lost their spouse or can’t be with their children because they live too far away often find the holidays difficult instead of merry.
Companion care in the home can help. When your senior loved one has companion care at home, they won’t have to get through the holidays alone. They may even enjoy their holiday. Companion care at home can help seniors avoid being lonely year-round, but it’s increasingly important during the holidays. If a spouse was lost during the holiday season, studies show that grief intensifies for every holiday thereafter.
Queen Elizabeth II once said, “Grief is the price we pay for love.” When someone we love transitions, the pain of the loss is difficult. However, it is compounded during the holidays, because that is the time we celebrate with our families and our friends. We practice traditions and family rituals, which remind us of how we love one another. When this dynamic is altered because of death, it can be devastating to the family. It is especially challenging when we see others enjoying time with loved ones. The realization of our loss is even greater during this time.
The usual feelings of togetherness can intensify grief because the loss of a loved one becomes even more pronounced if they aren’t present at the usual celebrations. The holidays are family-centric and if this is the first holiday season after the death of a loved one, it can be extremely hard. Many families have traditions and rituals that are centered around the holidays and to continue them without that person can be stressful and emotional. An in-home caregiver can help ease this grief.
Grief can be triggered for different people in different ways, some of which can be very specific. A smell, a favorite dish, or a once-enjoyed holiday activity can overwhelm us with emotion and bring the pain of a lost loved one back to the present. Giving yourself time to process those feelings as they happen is important.
There is no shame in asking for help or seeking help for your loved ones. Lean on your support system and find a balance. If you are the caregiver, the holidays may be just as hard on you as the ones you are caring for. Set boundaries for yourself and don’t feel like you must accept every single social invitation. If Holiday parties and events are triggers for you or the one you care for, you don’t have to isolate yourselves, but you could try new activities. Leaving a social situation is also perfectly acceptable if the grief becomes too much to bear. And you do not have to explain yourself or feel guilt over leaving.
Know what works for you. For some, it can be immensely helpful to honor old traditions and memories at this time of year. It can be comforting to think of the past and happy memories when dealing with grief. For others, this can be a trigger. Setting new traditions or avoiding old ones (such as shopping at certain stores or seeing the local Christmas lights) can be healing with grief. Letting go of old traditions can provide a new opportunity to clarify your values and needs this time of year. It’s okay to fall into either category, be sure to do what’s best for you.
What should a loved one say to a grieving family during the holidays? Sometimes the greatest comfort you can give to someone who is grieving is the gift of silence or the gift of presence. It may be difficult for a person during grief to speak articulately about their emotions. They may not be able to say, “My heart is breaking because I miss my loved one.” In those moments, a hug, holding their hand, or sitting in silence with them can mean more than searching for words of comfort. The gift of presence offers the bereaved person a safe place to grieve outwardly.
Highest Honor Home Care, LLC is privately owned and operated. Our mission is to assist every client with improving their quality of life, encouraging independence, and allowing them to be comfortable with excellent care in their homes by providing first-class, professional care with respect, dignity, and compassion with the highest ethical standards and honor.
If you or a loved one is in need the home care services mentioned here, contact Highest Honor Home Care by sending an email to info@highesthonorhomecare.com or by calling 941.204.8636. They offer service to Charlotte, DeSoto, and Sarasota counties. Their team of highly qualified professionals would be glad to talk to you and give you more information about how home care could work for you.