By Ross E. Schulman, Esquire – Master of Laws (L.L.M.), Estate Planning
I should be fair and forthcoming right from the start. I am an attorney who has practiced family law for over a decade and I have a master’s degree in Estate Planning. I write this article totally biased. But pause- biased- but knowledgeable because between those two practices I have seen entirely too many family issues that could be entirely avoided in most cases, certainly in the scenario of probate fights resulting from second or third marriages.
Divorce and remarriage don’t just rewrite your love story—they can unravel your legacy if your estate plan isn’t updated. Second marriages often bring blended families, with kids from prior relationships and new spouses, creating a minefield for inheritance disputes. Without a clear plan, your assets—like the family home or your retirement savings—could end up with the wrong people, leaving your children from a first marriage empty-handed or sparking bitter courtroom battles. I’ve seen how outdated wills or forgotten beneficiary designations can pit stepkids against new spouses, turning family gatherings into war zones. Don’t let that chaos define your legacy.
Consider this: greater than half of second marriages end in divorce, and even happy ones face challenges when assets aren’t clearly allocated. Never assume that your new husband or wife will “do the right thing” for your other children from a prior relationship. Consider this…without a tailored estate plan, life insurance could go entirely to the new spouse, leaving your kids with nothing. A simple fix? Updating your estate planning documents and naming specific beneficiaries for each policy. Tools like revocable trusts can also ensure your kids from a prior marriage inherit what’s theirs, while still providing for your new spouse—think a trust that pays income to your spouse during their lifetime, then passes the principal to your kids.
Blended families may need more than just a will to avoid conflict. Prenuptial or postnuptial agreements, paired with estate plans, can clarify who gets what—like keeping your business out of your new spouse’s hands while ensuring they’re cared for. Designating transfer-on-death deeds for property can bypass probate, reducing the chance of stepchildren and spouses fighting over who gets the lake house. And don’t overlook retirement accounts or life insurance—update those beneficiary forms, because they trump your will every time. Failing to do so could mean your ex or their new partner accidentally inherits your 401(k).
Tax issues, even with generous federal estate tax exemptions (The One Big Beautiful Bill Act (OBBBA), signed into law on July 4, 2025, permanently increases the federal estate, gift, and generation-skipping transfer (GST) tax exemption to $15 million per individual ($30 million for married couples), effective January 1, 2026, and indexed for inflation thereafter), can still sting. Remarriage might trigger gift tax complications if you’re transferring assets to a new spouse, or it could disrupt how your estate is taxed after you’re gone. Setting up an irrevocable trust can shield assets from taxes and creditors, ensuring your kids from a prior marriage aren’t shortchanged. For example, one client used a trust to protect her savings for her daughter, preventing her second husband’s business debts from touching it. This isn’t just about money—it’s about fairness and clarity for everyone you love.
The stakes are high in blended families, where emotions and money collide. Without a plan, your kids could lose their inheritance to a stepparent’s whims or a messy probate fight. I’ve helped families avoid this by crafting plans that balance everyone’s needs—your new spouse gets security, your kids from prior marriages get their share, and no one ends up in court. Think about a family where the parents’ home was preserved for the kids from marriage one, while the new spouse received a separate fund for living expenses. It’s practical, it’s fair, and it works.
Don’t assume your family will “figure it out.” Assumptions lead to disputes, and disputes lead to lost legacies. A well-drafted estate plan is like a roadmap for your blended family—it keeps everyone on the same path. Whether it’s a trust to protect your kids’ inheritance, a marital agreement to define boundaries, or updated beneficiary forms to avoid surprises, these tools stop fights before they start. Take control now and ensure your assets go exactly where you want them.
Ready to protect your blended family’s future? Contact an estate planning attorney who understands divorce and remarriage. Let’s craft a plan that honors your kids, respects your new spouse, and keeps your legacy intact. One meeting could save your family from years of conflict—and give you peace of mind today.
About the Author
Ross E. Schulman is a highly rated family law and estate planning attorney at Woodward, Pires & Lombardo, P.A. in Naples, Florida. He is licensed to practice law in Florida and New York as a Certified Financial Litigator (CFL™). Ross’ Juris Doctorate is from the Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law / Yeshiva University. He recently completed the University of Miami School of Law, Heckerling Graduate Program Estate Planning, with a Master of Laws in Estate Planning, LL.M.
Before becoming a lawyer, Ross worked in finance and gained strong negotiation skills while working on Wall Street. He traded financial products at Spear Leeds & Kellogg (later Goldman Sachs) and Bear Stearns. He also worked as a financial advisor at Morgan Stanley, where he gained extensive knowledge about asset classes and various financial products. Ross is highly qualified to help you handle a variety of legal issues.
Woodward, Pires & Lombardo, P.A.
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