Do you struggle with low self-esteem? Feeling negatively about yourself can have long-term consequences, including physical health conditions. Learn how changing the way you think can change your confidence level.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy teaches individuals to identify issues that cause a patient’s self-esteem to plumate. Examples of these are contention with someone else, such as an argument with your spouse or neighbor. It can be triggered by stress, such as an upcoming presentation or event, or it can develop due to crisis, such as not getting the raise you wanted at work or even an illness.
Whenever you feel deflated, it’s critical to think about the cause and identify and be fully aware of your thoughts. Not every thought you have can be trusted. If you were told you would never amount to anything as a youngster, you might have those same thoughts about yourself now, but they are unwarranted.
It’s imperative to ask yourself if these thoughts are true, do they make sense, or can they prove to be untrue? For example, if you tell yourself that you must get the promotion at work and worry that you’ll be destroyed if you don’t get it, is it true that you MUST, or is it more likely that you WANT the promotion. Will it make you a failure if you don’t get the promotion? Will your life be destroyed? No, it will not. It doesn’t change who you are.
We have to learn to see things differently, objectively, and with hope, not despondence. The fact that you feel a certain way doesn’t make it true. Thinking critically about what is true and what is perceived is the first step to better self-esteem.
People who struggle with self-esteem are usually somewhat self-deprecating and consistent with changing a positive into a negative. For example, if a co-worker congratulates you on an excellent presentation, you might reply (or think to yourself), “Well, I really messed it up in the middle section. I should have been more precise about our competition.” Accepting a compliment is hard for many people who struggle with self-esteem.
Another issue that takes a toll on self-esteem is bad company. Sometimes people are downright rude and full of themselves. If you have a friend or acquaintance that puts you down, this is an unhealthy relationship. Identifying these toxic people in your life is important. Avoiding them is optimal, but if you can’t (mother-in-law, co-worker, etc.) elude them completely, try to limit your interactions with them. If you have to spend time with them, remember that they are the ones with the issue, not you, and don’t take what they say to heart. Just sit back and accept the way they are. If it’s abusive, then it’s critical to seek help or calmly explain that you don’t want to be spoken to in a derogatory manner.
With triple board certification in general psychiatry, addiction psychiatry and forensic psychiatry, Dr. Richard J. Capiola has been in practice for 27 years. During his training at Tulane Medical School and UCLA, Dr. Capiola developed a keen interest in the treatment of depression and anxiety overlapping with drug and alcohol abuse. This focus led to his role as chief medical officer for Oglethorpe Inc., which specializes in the treatment of mental health and addiction. He has been instrumental in the clinical development and oversight of 12 specialty treatment centers in five states.
Dr. Capiola’s specialties include adult and adolescent psychiatry, treatment of anxiety, depression, and substance use problems, and forensic psychiatry, where he evaluates patients with legal issues related to mental health.
Dr. Capiola is the chief of psychiatry for Physicians Regional Medical Center and was the medical director for the Wilough at Naples for many years. He’s served 10 years with The Joint Commission, which evaluates hospitals nationwide for quality of care and safety.
Dr. Capiola was the featured neuropsychiatrist in the recent book “Don’t Give Up On Me” with Darryl Strawberry. His confidential private practice focuses on using each individual’s inherent strengths to achieve the goal of living a healthy, well-balanced life.
Dr. Capiola
239.649.7494
700 2nd Avenue North | Suite 305 | Naples, Florida 34102